Friday, February 11, 2011

021111.1 Dawn of the Slappy

I've been on a short hiatus (major life transition and computer problems) I like to make it up by throwing the haiku bot spot light on none other than Cap'n Slappy of Talk Like a Pirate Day!


 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku, (or "Pi-Ku"): Oh, Gilligan's Island! / Choose: Maryann or Ginger! / Ye cannot have "both!"
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Smoke swirls round me pants. / At first I thought - "Cannon smoke?" / Nope. Me foot's on fire.
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Cupid as Pirate / No bow and arrow for him! / BLUNDERBUSS o’ Luv!
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Cold steel pierces skin. / Pain wakes me up hours later. / With man-nipple ring.
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Me LUV is the sea! / She says, "Are you wearing that?" / She's a harsh mistress.
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Oh, me blunderbuss! / Loaded with coconut shards. / A "death colada!"
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): "Reality Shows!?" / I don't need a Lava Lamp! / On "Pimp Me Cabin!" (Cap'n's Edition!)
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Ye cheeky monkey! / Pesky poo peltin' primate! / Feces flingin' fool!
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): They call him, "Flipper." / Ear-piercin' dolphin cackle! / He's a navy spy!
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Damn this reddish paint! / With just a hint o' purple! / HATE bein' "Marooned!"
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku") Pirate attributes: / Barnacle tenacity / and Squid squishiness.
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Tempt me not to fight! / Ye'll get a savage beat down / with fists and forehead!
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
Today's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): I'll not steal yer grog! / At least not the cheap stuff, lad. / Not while ye're lookin'.
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku") Pirate Superfriends / Won't let "Aquaman" join 'em! / "Keelhaul for Justice!"
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): If this rain keeps up / I'll put Sponge Bob to good use! / Cautionary Tale. 
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Me eyes are puffy / Not from lily-liveredness! / Exhaustion - from joy! (Splendid day!)
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin' pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): I've got a wee cold! / But thar be no chicken soup. / I'll just boil a squid!
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku") Hold fast the hemp rope! / The price o' soft, supple hands! / "Weasel Grease Slippage."
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Ye badly misnamed / yer cereal, Cap'n Crunch! / "Sugar Coral Squares."
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku") Anchor snagged on rocks. / "Damn ye, anchor-stealin' rocks!" / Irretrievable.
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Pirate or Actor / I don't so much tread the boards / as I do "pound" them.
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or Pi-Ku): A ferocious sea! / Pitching hard, starboard to port. / "Rock-a-bye, pirate!"
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
@ 
@ Ahoy Luv! Aye, they've been loverly moons! The weather here in wee Oregon has been unseasonably hot and humid! I'd like rain.
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (Or "Pi-Ku"): Me sassy parrot / "Mr. Know-it-all Bird Brain!" / Wins every debate.
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Scurvy Awareness / But what color our ribbon? / Aye! I know! "Lime Green!"
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Damn water shortage! / The tea just isn't the same / when made with urine!
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): I've not bathed in weeks. / There's a jungle in me pants! / Where did ye all go?
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Thirty hammocks swing / to the rhythm o' the sea / nursery o' the damned.
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Sweet manatee song / Just like The Justin Bieber / sans the hair helmet.
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Weasel-greased fingers / me grasp o' cannonball slips / "Oh! ME FRIGGIN' TOE!!!"
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Pirate hopes and dreams! / To get some "bouncy-bouncy" / sans the "jimmy-rot."
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Always sage advice: / "The best tool for ear piercin' / is not a cannon."
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Yer leg's gone gammy. / It's got to go. Here's yer peg. / Now, stop yer squirming!
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
Today's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Ghosties and Ghoulies / Halloween Kings and Foolies / Pirates still RULE-ies! (See? I can force rhyme.)
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's very special pirate haiku (or "VESPIKU"): Election today. / I vote meself for Cap'n. / Vote for me - "OR ELSE!"
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 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (Or "Pi-Ku"): My new treasure map. / Purchased via TV ad. / "X sold separately."
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Me fashion footwear; / Hosiery with pirate flair. / Me stripey socks rule!
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or, "Pi-Ku"): Me fists and forehead / percussion tools for debate / drivin' me points home.
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): More flippers than fins. / You float - suspended by love / and much body fat. (Manatee Relections)
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's special solstice pirate haiku (or SPESOLPIKU): Winter rituals / for a piratey solstice / covered in goat pee.
 Cap'n Slappy 
 by the_haiku_bot
This mornin's pirate haiku (or "Pi-Ku"): Me biography. / "How Jolly Was Me Roger?" / (Not for the wee ones.)

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